


Vanish

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: Eating Disorders, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 05:48:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1887255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt notices that Blaine has changed since joining the Cheerios</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vanish

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by anonymous: Sue tells Blaine that he need to lose weight if he wants to stay on the Cheerios, so Blaine does everything he can to lose weight but he takes it too far, missing meals and always exceeding etc. his friends are worried and Sam contacts Kurt who comes back from NY to help Blaine. Klaine never broke up because they are the cutest couple okay? Thanks oxoxo

Kurt was only slightly embarrassed that he kept the Men of McKinley calendar under his bed.

Only slightly.

His boyfriend was super hot.

On nights when he felt particularly lonely, he would just stare. It didn’t feel dirty or gross like when he looked at those overly muscled men in those magazines. He was allowed to look, he just wished he could touch.

His fingers would lightly trace over the lines of Blaine’s body and he would smile to himself. It wasn’t sexual, it was just the closest thing he had to holding him. It was a way for Kurt to remember how he felt.

Every time he got to see Blaine, through pictures or Skype, it was another way to him to remember. He could remember how warm Blaine’s skin felt under his fingertips, how perfectly he fit with Kurt. Just seeing Blaine made something warm fill him up, making him feel brighter.

Then one day, Blaine looked a little different.

It had been about a week and a half since they had been able to Skype. A week and a half since he had been able to see him. As soon as the grainy image came into focus he grinned.

“Hey you,” Blaine said warmly, leaning closer to the camera.

“Hey,” something was different with Blaine. The lines of his face looked a little sharper, the polo he was wearing looked a little looser in his shoulders and his eyes seemed a little larger. “How are you?”

“Exhausted,” Blaine sighed heavily, rolling his eyes. “Coach Sylvester is running us ragged. She actually gave me a new uniform last week that is two sizes too small. I’ve had to walk around looking like a fatass until I loose enough weight to fit into it.”

“Poor baby,” Kurt smiled sympathetically. “Those red pants have to look good tighter though.”

“Believe me they don’t,” Blaine scrunched his nose up a little. “It’s like…rolls and…” He frowned and curled in on himself a little.

Kurt quickly changed the subject, wanting to distract his boyfriend and make him smile. Blaine would get through this, he was just upset.

But once it was in his mind, it was always there. Blaine looked thinner in every picture and he looked pale every time they talked on Skype. The first time they had attempted Skype sex, he had been stunned by the visible ribs.

Maybe the web cam was off. There was no way that Blaine could be that skinny. Maybe he was just standing weird in photos, maybe the lighting was weird.

Then he got a phone call from Sam.

“Blaine hasn’t eaten lunch in a week,” he blurted without giving Kurt time to say hello.

“What?” Kurt frowned, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk.

“He hasn’t been eating lunch and he’s been working out every spare second he can,” Sam’s voice went quiet. “I mean…I tried to bulk up during the calendar shoot but he looks like a skeleton.”

“I’ve noticed he’s lost weight,” he mumbled, something uneasy building up in his chest.

“He won’t listen to anything I say,” he said with a sigh. “It’s not normal Kurt. I doubt he’s eaten anything but celery for weeks. He gets shaky and I’m constantly scared that he’s going to pass out all the time. Something is crazy wrong.”

Things suddenly clicked. Kurt could easily remember the pressure to lose weight when he was on the Cheerios. The desperation to fit into that uniform overcame everything else. And Blaine…Blaine who wanted nothing more than to please everyone else.

“I’m coming.”

The plane ticket wasn’t too expensive, the flight seemed short, and the ride to McKinley wasn’t bad. What was horrible was seeing Blaine for the first time.

There was no excuse of a bad camera. This was no grainy Skype. This was real. This was a thinner face, much more visible collarbones, and a barely there waist.

“Hey!” Blaine blinked at him in surprise and grinned widely, almost bowling him over in a hug. “You weren’t supposed to be home for another month!”

“Um…” Kurt hugged him back, distracted by the sheer amount of bones he felt. “I just…needed to see you.”

Blaine pulled back, grin wider and stretched painfully across his face.

“You’ve lost weight,” Kurt blurted out, hands staying on Blaine’s protruding hips. Blaine grinned widely, hands skimming down his far too thin stomach.

“I was going to surprise you when I reached my goal weight,” Blaine smiled, leaning forward and kissing him gently.

He wanted to lose more?

Kurt didn’t say a word for the entire time they were in school. His eyes hardly ever strayed from Blaine’s slightly loose pants, the way his shirt hung off of him. He looked sick.

“If I had known you were coming, I would have dressed better,” Blaine said with a small blush as they walked back to his car after school. “The only person who ever pulled it off was you.”

Kurt found his smile fade when Blaine bumped a boney shoulder into his.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight,” his voice trembled as he finally found the courage to broach the subject. Blaine’s grin widened and his eyes glowed. “Like…a lot. Sam called me.”

“I’ve been working really hard and Sam’s been not…so supportive,” Blaine shrugged, not meeting his eyes as he unlocked the car door.

“I’m worried too,” Kurt took a deep breath as Blaine looked up, surprised. “He said that you’re skipping meals and working out all the time.”

“I’m just trying to shed these last few pounds,” he mumbled, tugging uncomfortably at his Cheerio shirt.

“I remember how it felt to want to be on the Cheerios,” Kurt continued softly. “That you were finally on top, especially since you’re head cheerleader now. Blaine, it’s…”

“It’s fine,” Blaine snapped. “It’s a diet.”

“It’s an eating disorder,” Kurt breathed and Blaine shook his head, turning and walking away from his own car. “Blaine please!”

“I don’t know what stupid tv shows you’ve been watching or whatever, but I don’t have an eating disorder,” he lifted his chin. “And here I thought my boyfriend had just surprised me because he missed me, not because he wanted to fix some imaginary problem.”

“I love you and I want to help you,” Kurt could feel tears well in his eyes. “One of the junior dance majors from NYADA is in the hospital because of an eating disorder. If she had waited, she would have died.”

Blaine froze, eyes locked on his white shoes.

“I…I love you and I don’t know what I would do if you died,” Kurt’s voice wavered. “Especially if it is because you were chasing some…some idea of perfection that you had. You were already perfect.”

“I am fat,” Blaine wrapped his arms around his stomach.

“You look like a shadow of yourself. I can’t watch you waste away,” Kurt hurried forward and gently placed his hands on Blaine’s arms, relieved when he didn’t pull away. “Your friends have noticed and want to help. I want to help.”

“I…I think I might have a problem,” Blaine breathed, trembling slightly.

Kurt knew the problem went further than trying to lose weight. It went further than a problem with his image. This was the result of a deep dislike for himself, a desperate attempt to better himself. Kurt had noticed, he had been suspicious, but he hadn’t said a word until someone else mentioned something.

He remembered that desire to see the numbers go down. Sometimes when he looked in the mirror, he still saw pear hips. He recognized that same drive in Blaine, saw the signs but somehow thought that maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal.

Kurt had gone through those issues, Blaine could too.

Of course, Kurt had never taken it to this extent. When Kurt had struggled with his body image, he had Mercedes to show him that beauty wasn’t only skin deep. Blaine’s best friend was Sam who was struggling with the same problems, and Kurt was the only other person who really saw Blaine and he was in another state.

Blaine needed someone to see him, and he was willing to vanish to get it.


End file.
